"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"
I'm ready to make MY new ending!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

It has been a while since I posted. Seriously...I have tried everything in the past few years.

I work my butt off at the gym, log my calories on Calorie King, have been tested for everything...hormones, thyroid, metabolic disorders, sleep disorders....and guess what....I am HEALTHY! yes....HEALTHY but a whopping 300lbs!!!!!

So last month I was again at my Dr.'s for my annual and I was up in weight from 295lbs to 300lbs, I was crying with him telling him I didn't know what else to do? I work so hard and I get nowhere on the scale. I tell him I know I'm healthy, but I'm fat! how long was I going to be able to keep up my health, I'm 38 years old!

So he looked at me and said: "I think you should talk to a surgeon"

He wasn't judgmental or mean, he wasn't looking down at me, he just held my hand and said. I know you have tried everything, and for some people, they just need an extra tool. Sometimes you gain so much weight and the more you try to lose the more you gain, because all of your systems are now confused. Your fat cells have memories and they are the keepers of a ton of hormones. He said: "really what do you have to lose?"

I had done research on WLS for years, I had started reading about the gastric band instead of bypass. I was scared of the lack of nutrient absorption, and then I was scared of the band...after reading about it...I didn't want to deal with the maintenance, the fills, what if it slipped, what if I got an infection (I have a history of not tolerating anything on my skin, etc). So anyway....I started my research again.

I talked to my local surgical option (he is one of the best, Dr. Cirangle form Laparoscopic Associates of San Francisco). I live in a small community 200 miles from San Francisco, so the Dr. couldn't see me until he came down for his next local clinic in August. I was also told that given my insurance there was a high chance that my insurance wouldn't cover the cost of surgery, at least not the surgeon's costs (He's out of network), and that the process would take anywhere from a few months to 2 years. My deductible is super high (10K, I am self employed). But whatever, I was ok with this, I knew I wanted to talk to them more and talk about the surgery. In that same phone call, the patient coordinator (that's the appointment lady and the one that deals with your process) told me that there was a 3rd option for surgery. The Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG or Sleeve). This surgery is where they basically cut out a large portion of your stomach and take it from a football size stomach to a banana size stomach. They didn't mess with your intestines, and basically left you with your original organs, just a smaller stomach. Hmmm this peaked my interest. Basically you lose weight based on restriction. So I was excited and looking forward to my appointment 2 months away.

Then a fried published a picture of me on facebook, we had gone to a Happy Hour and took a picture. I rarely let people take pictures, but I was happy to see my friend, ok picture taken. Then posted. When I saw myself, I knew I couldn't wait any longer. I had to do something NOW. I had made up my mind....I was having surgery and I was going to do it sooner than later....I mean why not. I don't have a project that I'm working, I can take some downtime. So my research began.

Here's the picture - Guess who I am.....