Background.....

I have been dieting all my life, My mom was fat (until she did WW and lost a ton of weight), my dad was fat, and I'm fat......I figured I was doomed to be fat. I do remember a time when I was at an Ok weight, still overweight but ok, I wore size 12/14 clothes........ahhhh those were the days.....
I married in 2000, and had just moved back from an expat assignment in Bolivia....I had managed to lose some weight while I was there, I cam back to the US and weighed in at 215.... I was happy I had gotten up to about 240-250lbs and felt good at my size 18/20....I figured I could keep losing......

Big mistake......since then I not only gained back what I had lost but my current weight is right around 280lbs. I still didn't think much of it until I renewed my driver's license....to see the difference in pictures.....it was shocking, sad, alarming.......

I've gone to dr's for checkups and stuff, and yeah my weight kept going up, but somehow they all beat around the bush and never really made me focus (how could they, I didn't focus or care)....

I have been thinking of getting pregnant, having children off and on, and I write it off to "I enjoy my freedom"......

I really think if I haven't gotten pregnant it's because I'm overweight....bottom line....and then, do I really want to be pregnant when starting out this heavy?????? Dr's say I'm insulin resistant, and that is the reason I can't do it....well....reality bites, but if I am insulin resistant, it's because I'm overweight and it may be harder to lose the lbs....but I'm going to do it.....

It's not about getting pregnant, or about wearing cute clothes in colors that are not red, black or navy blue (fat girl colors), really it's about me.....

I go on vacation and I want to scuba dive (I doubt I could find a wet suit in a size 24, and then if there was one, I'd be confused with shamu the wale......no thanks!)....I want to ride on zip lines, I want to horseback, without feeling sorry for the hores, etc... you get my drift......

So I am on a definite mission to lose lbs, get healthy, I am only 33 years old....so I can do it....I know I can......